Psst . . . it’s me your President.

Fellow Americans, this is just between you and me. No network analyst will jump in here as soon as I stop talking, and tell you what I said.

You think I am joshing? I kid you not. I could announce we found extra gold at Fort Knox and EVERYONE is going to get a bar worth $58,000. Then ABC, CBS, NBC, and CNN would analyze it like this:

“ President Bush is giving everyone a bar of gold, but it will only benefit the richest 1%, and discriminates against minorities and the poor. Distributed at the Post Office it weighs almost a pound, and the poor will drop it on the way home. This is discrimination!”

Now I speak directly to you, without some sweaty rabid Liberal editor twisting it around his marijuana stained fingers . . .

Ok,You want candor? Well here is candor.

I want more Mexicans here! There are lots of jobs Americans are too lazy to do, and some hard working Mexican can do. We are short of doctors in some areas, so we should have less expensive Mexican trained doctors move into these openings.

Mexican doctors could slow the rising cost of health care at our hospitals; especially one’s overcrowded with immigrant Mexicans in the Southwest. Be assured your government will be on watch for phony Doctor Certifications sold on the street by counterfeiters. And American citizens, you must be aware, that doctor is spelled Doctoro in Spanish.

Millions more Mexicans will move North, and will take American jobs. The U.S. Unemployment Agency will now train any American who looses a job to a lower paid Mexican - to be a Yard Care Specialist, Night Watchman or Day Laborer. Your Federal Government will help you acquire these skills.

You middle class and poorer Americans will find your fortunes will go from bad to worse, because you will be competing with cheap labor in China, and Mexican labor right here in the USA. Yes you will pay the price for my being remembered, as the President who had true compassion for poor Mexicans.

And don’t worry about that ‘700 mile border fence’ I promised. I never planned to build it anyway.

I know some of you may feel disheartened, because you voted for me and you thought I reflected your traditional American values.
What can I say? My family was wealthy, my father was President, and I bonded with the true elite.
I was never a middle class American yahoo believing in some American tradition.

Good night fellow Americans, and everyone in Mexico who will be moving north!


2008 Tom Sullivan