LIBERAL POLLING QUESTIONNAIRE.

This polling questionnaire was discovered in a coffee shop near the New York Time building.

Liberal polls are often sponsored by a newspaper and network, to make them sound legit. Such as: “The Carl and Rita Marx Foundation, in conjunction with Soviet Sleeper Cell No. 6, at National Public Radio.”

Q. Do you or your spouse own slaves, or have you ever-owned slaves?
A. Liberals believe they are the only people who don’t own slaves. They are very proud of this!
Q. Do your children own slaves?
A. Liberal thinking – Maybe you put you slaves in your children’s name!
Q. Can you say the word “religious” without saying “extremist?”
A. Liberals can’t. They KNOW all religious people are EXTREMISTS.
Q. Can you talk about religion for 1 minute without saying: “All wars are caused by religion!”
A. Liberals can’t.
Q. Do you believe a conspiracy of a few corporate barons controls the country the way they did in 1870?
A. Karl Marx, Joe Stalin and Jane Fonda all said this was true. Liberals believe their leaders!
Q. Do you believe only government can protect us in everyday life, and we need much more government to get full protection.
A. Liberal say, Yes! “Freedom is scary” while “government is safe and cozy.” This is a core Liberal belief – after promiscuity is good.
Q. Do you believe that the social group or class you were born into - is your destiny?
A. Liberals don’t believe this affects them. But they do believe that the poor dumb little people they love so much as servants - are helpless to change.
Q. Do you believe that discrimination of race or sex prevents people from succeeding?
A. Liberals believe all failure comes from discrimination. Marx said so. It can’t be crummy Public Schools, because Liberal Democrat Teachers Unions run the schools.
Q. Do you believe that discrimination is stronger than ever, but that it is secret today?
A. Yes. Liberals believe this and constantly look for clues. For example, they think people don’t like Woody Allen because of his religion – and not because he is a creep.
Q. Do you believe that people who think clearly using reason and logic, are uncaring beasts?
A. Absolutely! Liberals believe that a truly caring person can’t think clearly.
Q. Do Liberals hate?
A. Not unless they have to say the word . . . Geo-rge-Dub-bu-Bu-sch.

Liberals never hate except for: the military, patriots, Christians, freedom, men, women who think for themselves, Conservatives, our successful economy, our technology, our science, the clergy, farmers, the family, the best medical system in the world that treats everyone.
Liberals do hate all sports except antique hunting. And Liberals hate American cars, American food, American history, and American music unless it has filthy lyrics - then they love it!


2008 Tom Sullivan